News
Parent's Day: 20 of the Funniest Parenting Tweets
Parenting isn’t easy. Kids don’t come with a manual that tells you exactly how to handle them. Parenting is an on-the-job training. You learn as you raise your children. You can make a lot of mistakes with the first child. So, you tend to avoid the same mistake with the second. Oh, yes, parenting definitely has its moments when you’ll find yourself wanting to tear your hair out; but then, there are moments when you struggle to keep a straight face in a moment of sheer hilarity.
As parents, you probably have experienced those moments. Some parents, however, love to share the humor with other people on Twitter. So, in honor of Parent’s Day, we’ve decided to share 20 of the funniest tweets we’ve come across on Twitter.
My daughters argued about who should be queen.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 17, 2017
I told them they both could be.
Now there's a civil war.
Oops.
Netflix should have a "times watched" counter for kids' shows so you can track your slow descent into madness.
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) June 12, 2017
*Mary Poppins voice*
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 5, 2015
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
*Batman voice*
I said let's go.
I wish someone would threaten to put me to bed for a change.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 17, 2014
Don't get me wrong, I love my 3-year-old. It's just that sometimes I'm pretty sure he needs an exorcism.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 30, 2017
Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) October 5, 2016
2 yo has been crying for 20 minutes because she misses her booger. In case you wondered what motherhood is like.
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) January 24, 2017
Me expecting my 1st baby: I'll love him and guide him and always be there
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) July 9, 2017
Me now: JUST FIGURE IT OUT I MEAN C'MON GUYS JEEZ I JUST SAT DOWN
"I have no one to play with."
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) July 14, 2017
- kids with siblings
I wish I loved anything as much as my kids love to fight over whose turn it is to push the elevator button.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 12, 2017
I wish I loved anything as much as my kids love to fight over whose turn it is to push the elevator button.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 12, 2017
8y.o: "I love animals!"
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 10, 2017
11: "We're eating animal! But this animal tastes so good fried in breadcrumbs."
-Why we can't have dinner guests.
Me: The Doctor is a woman.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) July 16, 2017
7: women can be whatever they want weirdo.
Me: I mean The Doctor. That's so cool.
7: you have a lot to learn.
The tea party my toddler invited me to feels more like a hostage situation.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) May 5, 2017
Levels of clean:
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 12, 2017
1) My kids cleaned it
2) Dirty
3) I cleaned it
4) Actually clean
5) My wife cleaned it
Science says humans can go weeks without food and yet my kids can't get buckled up in the car before asking for snacks.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) July 16, 2017
My kid just uttered the four most dangerous words in the history of momkind, “Mommy, my head itches.”
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) July 16, 2017
NOOOOOOOO!!!
Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown*
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017
Me: Sweetie, you need to share
Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35
Children can be hilarious - and parents are superheroes! Parents Day is your day, moms and dads. Why not treat yourself with something awesome like our Glass Bottles with Loops.
Do you hate the aftertaste of #metal & #plastic containers? If you do, you’d love our #Glass Bottles with Loop Caps. https://t.co/Jn6NBQzepU pic.twitter.com/WvVdq9ndlU
— Pratico Goods (@PraticoGoods) July 17, 2017